In my novels The Birdcatcher and Skol, and in The Shyness Guide, I’ve said that I think shyness and autism are both usually natural. I've also suggested that, in some people, they may be related to each other. This perception of them isn’t supported by any research as far as I know. But when I … Continue reading Shyness & Autism – Are they related?
Nothing seems to bother non-shy people more than the reluctance of shy people to talk. "What's the matter with you?!! Speak up! Be assertive! Stop hiding from us!" - that's their common refrain, especially in workplaces, at school, etc. Why are social people like that? I think it's starts with their instinctual need for communication. … Continue reading Shy Silence
In The Shyness Guide I've said that you can become less shy by being more shy. Most people don't understand this. What I mean is that, instead of trying to suppress your shyness, the best thing to do is to accept it – accept who you are. That doesn't mean giving up and hiding at … Continue reading Being less shy by being more shy
Recently I rediscovered the 'Big Five' personality traits. This was in a 2007 online article by psychologist Nathalie Nahai (A Large-Scale Personality Research Method, also published in the 2017 anthology, Know This, edited by John Brockman, published by Harper Perennial and the Edge Foundation). They aren't new. The idea began in United States Air Force in … Continue reading The Big Five Personality Traits | Where did the Introverts go?
Someone has said The Birdcatcher is just the story of the Ugly Duckling retold. Well, yes, that's what it is. That fairy tale was written especially for shy solitary people. Human 'ugly ducklings' have been told for a long time, maybe thousands of years, that they should stop being different, that they should behave like everyone … Continue reading The Ugly Duckling and The Birdcatcher
Recently I was reading some pages from my journal written in 2009 when I was 59 years old, and I came upon a forgotten thought: Looking back on the previous decades of my life, reflecting on what I had learned and not learned, achieved and not achieved, I said to myself: "You are 25% social, … Continue reading Rescuing Shyness |Fate of the 25% Man
Recently I finished reading Joe Moran's bestselling 2016 book, Shrinking Violets – The Secret Life of Shyness. You might think that I would be jealous of a shyness book that is commercially successful, when my book, The Shyness Guide, being an 'indie' book, is not allowed to compete in that arena. Well, that's not what … Continue reading Shrinking Violets – The Secret History of Shyness by Joe Moran
Like everyone else, when I was young I read J.D. Salinger's famous novel, The Catcher in the Rye, and some of his short stories. I wasn't as impressed as everyone else seemed to be, but I was impressed by Salinger's tight innovative prose, which helped me in my early writing. No, I didn't find Salinger's … Continue reading A Shy Loner under siege |J. D. Salinger
On The Shyness Guide's landing page I've explained my credentials for writing that book. But why did I feel it necessary to write such a book? After all, there are more than 600 books about Shyness (last time I checked). How could there be anything left to say? Well, because shyness is almost never understood … Continue reading Why I wrote The Shyness Guide