In my novels The Birdcatcher and Skol, and in The Shyness Guide, I’ve said that I think shyness and autism are both usually natural. I've also suggested that, in some people, they may be related to each other. This perception of them isn’t supported by any research as far as I know. But when I … Continue reading Shyness & Autism – Are they related?
Nothing seems to bother non-shy people more than the reluctance of shy people to talk. "What's the matter with you?!! Speak up! Be assertive! Stop hiding from us!" - that's their common refrain, especially in workplaces, at school, etc. Why are social people like that? I think it's starts with their instinctual need for communication. … Continue reading Shy Silence
Well, I say we're falling into an abyss because decades ago most of us went over the cliff edge of understanding when we accepted introvert/extrovert as fundamental to human personality. The way introvert/extrovert is understood today is very different from what psychologist C.G.Jung intended when he introduced those terms into psychology a century ago. He … Continue reading Introverts and Extroverts into the abyss
In The Shyness Guide I've said that you can become less shy by being more shy. Most people don't understand this. What I mean is that, instead of trying to suppress your shyness, the best thing to do is to accept it – accept who you are. That doesn't mean giving up and hiding at … Continue reading Being less shy by being more shy
I have to say something about the firing this week of Toronto Raptors coach, Dwane Casey. Though named a finalist for 2018 Coach of the Year, after the best-ever season by a Raptors team, and winning the first round in the playoffs before losing to Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, Casey was dismissed. Yet … Continue reading Rescuing Loners | The Firing of Dwane Casey
Last week I went for a walk below the Scarborough Bluffs, the 12,000 year old cliff along the north shore of Lake Ontario created by a giant glacial river during the last ice age. After a long winter, I walked in the spring sunshine there, and explored the woods that grow in the deep gullies … Continue reading The Lost 11 year-old Loner |Was he really Lost?
In my book The Shyness Guide, I've written about C.G. Jung's different conception of 'introvert/extrovert' - different, that is, from the view of most people today. Since it was Jung who coined the terms 'introvert' and 'extrovert', he ought to have a say in how they're used. In his book Psychological Types, he proposed that there are … Continue reading Are you an Introvert and an Extrovert?
Someone has said The Birdcatcher is just the story of the Ugly Duckling retold. Well, yes, that's what it is. That fairy tale was written especially for shy solitary people. Human 'ugly ducklings' have been told for a long time, maybe thousands of years, that they should stop being different, that they should behave like everyone … Continue reading The Ugly Duckling and The Birdcatcher
Recently I was reading some pages from my journal written in 2009 when I was 59 years old, and I came upon a forgotten thought: Looking back on the previous decades of my life, reflecting on what I had learned and not learned, achieved and not achieved, I said to myself: "You are 25% social, … Continue reading Rescuing Shyness |Fate of the 25% Man