For some years now I've been editing my old journals, condensing them, getting rid of the paper. This morning I came upon the entry for Sept 12, 1969, one of the most important dates in my life. In an upscale bar frequented by the insurance industry, I had met Matthew, a young underwriter who I … Continue reading Autism | When they admire you
I have to say something about the firing this week of Toronto Raptors coach, Dwane Casey. Though named a finalist for 2018 Coach of the Year, after the best-ever season by a Raptors team, and winning the first round in the playoffs before losing to Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, Casey was dismissed. Yet … Continue reading Rescuing Loners | The Firing of Dwane Casey
Last week I went for a walk below the Scarborough Bluffs, the 12,000 year old cliff along the north shore of Lake Ontario created by a giant glacial river during the last ice age. After a long winter, I walked in the spring sunshine there, and explored the woods that grow in the deep gullies … Continue reading The Lost 11 year-old Loner |Was he really Lost?
Recently I was reading some pages from my journal written in 2009 when I was 59 years old, and I came upon a forgotten thought: Looking back on the previous decades of my life, reflecting on what I had learned and not learned, achieved and not achieved, I said to myself: "You are 25% social, … Continue reading Rescuing Shyness |Fate of the 25% Man
Like everyone else, when I was young I read J.D. Salinger's famous novel, The Catcher in the Rye, and some of his short stories. I wasn't as impressed as everyone else seemed to be, but I was impressed by Salinger's tight innovative prose, which helped me in my early writing. No, I didn't find Salinger's … Continue reading A Shy Loner under siege |J. D. Salinger
In his 1977 book, Shyness, psychologist Philip Zimbardo took a long look at shyness. He is the only psychologist, to my knowledge, that has devoted so much of his career and writing to it. I devoted many pages in my book The Shyness Guide to his findings and views. In a Mar 31, 2016 post … Continue reading The New Shyness |Philip Zimbardo
Those who, like me, grew up in the 1950s, and maybe some who are not so old, will remember the song Barbara Streisand sang in Funny Girl - 'People who need People' (composed by Jules Styne, lyrics by Bob Merrill) - which declared that such people are the luckiest people in the world. Whenever I heard that … Continue reading People who don’t need People – James Michener
I must admit that my perspective on shyness is different than most. It's the perspective of a loner. During my life I've often been called shy, sensitive, or introverted. But several people, at different times, have also told me that I was the most independent person they'd ever met. Well, that strong independence is genetic. … Continue reading What does a Loner know about Shyness?
About 10 years ago I did a search for loner websites and found none. The only site that used the term was Loners of America. That turned out to be a group of seniors who had each lost their partner but owned an RV. This group of newly singled men and women travelled around America together, … Continue reading What is a Loner?