In my my novel The Birdcatcher, I introduced the idea of the modern social world as a great delusion.
The point I was trying to make is that the world you experience in school, workplaces, group relationships, etc, is not simply something that doesn’t match up with the wary sensitivity you acquired from a million years or so of your ancestors living as hunter-gatherers.
The social labyrinth is a great multi-dimensional game that social humanity created for itself over thousands of years. It started with the tribe about 60,000 years ago,then gradually expanded into something infinitely complex.
It is a delusion because it is so separated from the natural world, but it is real because it is the only game around. Non-shy people have declared it to be real. Unless you have enough money to walk away and live on a mountain top, you have to accept their reality.
Do you see what I’m getting at? I believe it is important to understand that this gigantic game is unreal (otherwise you will never understand why you are having trouble in it), but that at the same time is real because 99% of the human population say it is real.
That’s why social philosophers have been able to say things like – no tree falls in the forest unless someone is there to see it. Unless someone is there to watch it fall, the tree’s fall is not recorded on the human gameboard. It is not part of their reality.
Social anxiety arises when you can’t cope with that unreal world. No one will tell you the full rules of the game (social people only know the deep rules instinctually, which is why they can’t explain them), and you won’t find them in any manual.
You can learn to understand the social game anyway, and learn to function on the board, but it’s not simple, or easy.
That’s why I wrote a whole book about it – The Shyness Guide.
Here is a link to a free PDF abridgement (1/3) of the book:
Here is a link to it on Amazon.com (you can find it on any Amazon site):